Updated: Jul 8, 2020
I had a dream that I would come to love and forgive you even though you judged me and maybe still do. I had a dream that I could forgive you even if you never apologized or were never sorry at all -- that I could understand you, at least just a little bit, that God's grace could help me let go of what I held against you, even though you never took the effort to understand me or feel compassion because perhaps you were too afraid.
I knew that understanding you and your pain could help bring me the peace I needed to be at my best, regardless if you were around or not. I needed to be at my best for myself and for everyone else that I would come to meet, because no one deserved for me to be triggered by something that had nothing to do with them in the first place. I had a dream that I could learn to forgive myself, that all the guilt I had could be washed away, that all the shame could evaporate one day, so that I could be more present to love, be in love, and not inadvertently cause hurt to someone else because I was still being triggered by something I experienced with you. I had a dream that God would flood me with so much love that all my resentment, anger, frustration, sadness would come up, no longer suppressed, no longer repressed, felt deeply, and then released, transmuted, and that only gratitude would be left.